Under $25

Walk This Way
Research says that if your foot hits the pavement 8000 times in a day, you’re in Weight Loss City, population: You! Save yourself the hassle of meticulously counting your own steps and let the VoiceZone Talking Pedometer do it for you. Also includes a total distance counter, calorie counter, stride distance adjustment and a 90dB panic alarm for when you have to step your way out of getting your ass kicked.
$19.99 from Radio Shack
Eaton Centre, (416) 979-3180

Talk This Way
As Sylvester Stallone knows, jumping rope is twice as effective as jogging, and just slightly less painful than watching Judge Dredd. Since skipping’s not just for 12-year old girls anymore, double dutch your way into killer abdominals with the Centrios Talking Jump Rope, which will announce your number of jumps, elapsed time, remaining time and calories burned – all without calling you a girlie-man.
$24.99 from Radio Shack
Eaton Centre, (416) 979-3180

$25 to $50

Humping Around
As disgusting as it is when a dog vigorously humps your leg, you have to admit that it bumps up the ol’ self esteem. So why buy a real dog that you have to spend time walking and money feeding when you can get endless humping action from Humphrey The Humping Dog? Press the button in his ear and he’ll climax with more exuberance than your girlfriend, and without the expensive dinner beforehand.
$34 from Urban Outfitters
235 Yonge St., (416) 214-1466

Steal This WiFi
Mooching someone else’s wireless internet signal has been a bothersome experience thus far – but now it doesn’t have to be. Pop the Kensington WiFi Finder onto your key ring, press the button and three lights will tell you how close you are to a freelicious WiFi hotspot. Now if only stealing cable were this easy.
$47.95 from Future Shop
351-353 Yonge St., (416) 971-5377

$50 to $100

Book Worm
An alternative to those cheaply made, nerdlinger clip-on book lamps, the LightWedge is the perfect gift for hardcore book lovers and travelers. A durable, clear sheet of plastic places on top of a book and illuminates the entire page with no light escaping to bother anyone else that may be around.
$40 from Tilly Endurables
Queen’s Quay Terminal; 207 Queen’s Quay West, (416)203-0463

Extreme Makeover
World-famous designer Philippe Starck is next on the list of Famous Designers Who Redesign Boring Computer Peripherals Into Brilliant Pieces Of Art. Inspired by the two hemispheres of the human brain, the stylish Microsoft Optical Mouse by S+ARCK is a welcome addition to any computer users’ desk, as is a brick of pure, un-cut Columbian cocaine.
$54.99 from CompuSmart
151 Yonge St., (416) 504-6444

$100 to $200

Wireless World
Apple hits us with yet another gorgeous and innovative product. Plug the Apple Airport Express with iTunes into an electrical socket and enjoy a lightning fast wireless connection at 802.11g. To further kick all other WiFi bases’ asses, plug a set of speakers directly into the audio plugs and listen to your computer’s music collection from anywhere in the house.
$179.95 from Computer Systems Centre
275 College St., (416) 927-8000

Just Shoot Me
Unlike your garden variety digital camera, the Philips Wearable Digital Camera doesn’t have a flash, LCD screen or zoom, but that’s exactly the point. This camera’s all about maximum portability, designed so small and durable that it fits right onto your keychain and can be whipped out in situations where whipping out cameras isn’t kosher.
128MB for $
695 Wilson Ave., (416) 635 6574

$200 to $500

Mighty Mini
Apple took the best digital music player around and shrunk it down to a more fashionably compact format. The iPod Mini immediately broke sales records across the globe and became the most desired MP3 player. Flush your individuality down the toilet and jump on the bandwagon, because these puppies are worth selling your soul for. Comes complete with cool points and raised self-worth.
$349.95 from Computer Systems Centre
275 College St., (416) 927-8000

Outside The Box
Digital cameras keep getting smaller and sexier, and the winner of this year’s rodeo is the shapely Olympus Verve. With its unique, ergonomic and all-weather shell coming in 5 different colours (black, silver, white, blue, red and orange) it’s the most impressive, sleekest 4 megapixel digicam on the market this season.
$469.99 from Henry’s
119 Church St., (416) 868-0872

$500 to $1000

Double Team
The best inventions take two existing great designs and combine them into one, like breast implants and blondes. The Oakley Thump runs with this formula and amalgamates a pair of awesome sunglasses with an awesome 128mb MP3 player, to create one awesome, sun-defying, hands-free music-listening device that won’t skip when you do.
Black Iridium 128MB for $550CDN from Battery Plus
Eaton Centre, (416) 596-1701

Workaholic
The BlackBerry 7510 is a Frankenstein monster of a phone, organizer and email and internet browser, without the murderous rage or crappy hairstyle. It’s also the first unit in Canada to offer Mike’s Direct Connect long-range digital waklie-talkie service all the way to Hawaii, connecting you in less than a second. Also boasts a colour screen and the familiar QWERTY keyboard layout that most phone-PDA lack.
$649, $499 with 3-year contract, from Telus Mobility
Eaton Centre, (416) 205-9491

Over $1000

Home Free
Sony raises the bar to the stratosphere with their LocationFree TV LFX. Connect the base station to your broadband at home, and you can access all your favourite local stations from anywhere in the world where there’s a WiFi hotspot or Ethernet connection. Drool over MuchMusic’s Sarah Taylor in China, laugh to Ed The Sock in India, and ignore Mike Bullard in Zimbabwe. Also alleviates the need to buy multiple TV sets for different rooms in your home, or reading material for the washroom.
$2499 from The Sony Store
Eaton Centre, (416) 971-7589